A good friend of mine, a Psychology grad student, e-mailed myself and our friends last night to ask for three things that we’ve struggled with since graduation. I didn’t have to spend much time thinking about it, so perhaps everything I said wasn’t worded well, but I thought that I’d share it with those of you who read this blog:
Let’s see….
One of the hardest things for me was finding a job. Even though I found the first one fairly quickly, it was mostly because of the need for teachers at the time. The second one took much longer. I was applying for anything that I seemed remotely qualified to do, but was getting hardly any responses back. After six months’ unemployment (except for a little work done for my parents), I took the first job that I was offered, even though I was overqualified. To be fair, they pay me pretty well for the work that I do, so I can’t complain there.
After the whole unemployment thing, the hardest thing is saving money. I have student loans and a car loan, and have no one to share bills with. My friends get pissed when I don’t want to go somewhere that requires spending extra money that I don’t have. Or I may HAVE it, but I choose to spend it on different things. I’m bitched at for not wanting to spend $20+ on one meal and called “poor” even though I’ll have paid over $8500 off in debt from Jan-Dec of this year. So the hardest thing is being surrounded by people who think they know better than me how I should spend my money / live my life. (Gosh, I sound bitter! I don’t mean to be!).
I’d say the third thing for me is weddings and showers. We’re at this age where friends are getting married constantly and we need to buy shower gifts, wedding presents, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, purses, and regular dresses when not in the bridal party. Sometimes we need to travel to these weddings and stay at hotels. By the end of this summer, I’ll have been IN three weddings and attended seven others over the past three years…and this is fewer than most people I know.
I forgot to add in bachelorette parties; I’ve been to three and probably paid more than $30 for each one.
I’m not complaining about attending weddings! I enjoy them mostly. They get very expensive, though, and I won’t see that money returned until I get married myself one day. And I have an advantage over them, too. By the time that I get married, THEY will all be making more money and have more to spend on MY gift. It’s just too bad (for my wallet) that all my friends are getting married so young when I can’t afford to give them as much as I’d like. Any friends that wait a good five years will get something much better, I promise!
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I’m afraid that I’m going to get into a fight with my best friend. Not one of those “I hate you!” fights, but one of those “I’m so frustrated with you for not doing what I say when I know I’m right!” kind of fights. She’s the frustrated one, though, not me–at least not yet.
A week ago she asked me if I was getting a roommate when my lease ends and I said “no”. Now I’m not 100% sure about this, but right now I have no options and I flat-out refuse to live with just anybody. I learned the hard way that living with someone that you hate (and hates you right back) sets you up for a world of depression; having to stay cooped up in your bedroom so that you won’t have to see the roommate, trying to find things to keep yourself out of your own place, arguing about bills, chores, etc. At one point in college, one of my only outlets for my inner turmoil (I know, I’m overdramatic) was coming to class early and telling my friends what my Psycho Roommate had done that day in great, story-teller fashion.
Anyway, my best friend said, “But you have to!” and I immediately bristled. I HATE being told what to do by anyone (except my bosses…because that’s their job).
I told her that I didn’t have to and she said something about how if I were living paycheck to paycheck (which made me wonder if she’d found my blog–but I don’t think she has because she hasn’t said anything about it) I needed to save money. I know that she is definitely concerned about whether I have enough money to live, but I also know that her big complaint is that I’m not going out to restaurants and bars with our friends anymore. This month it was mostly because of not having enough money until my tax refund came in (got in on Friday morning, $1529 woohoo!), but also because I haven’t missed it. At this point, I don’t enjoy going out to dinner and seeing my money going down the tube, even if I stick to water and something cheap. I’d much rather hang out at my place or someone else’s. I don’t consider dining out to be a necessity and I don’t know how to express it without someone getting upset with me.
This is one of the reasons why my boyfriend and I work so well together: he’s just as broke as me, maybe more so. When we’re together, we’re able to back each other up about not spending too much. All his money is going to pay the normal expenses and whatever is leftover is paying off loans or things that will help him out in the future, like a personal training course that will pay for itself in no time once he’s done and finds a part-time job at a gym. He never encourages me to spend money when I don’t think that I should (although I’m not always as supportive of him–if you lose a razor, buy a new one, don’t wait two weeks until I can bring you your spare!).
Anyway, I’m not going to live with someone who is not a trusted friend. It’s also a lot easier for my friend to say that I should since she’s married and doesn’t have to live with anyone but her husband, the person she loves and trusts the most. I’m going to try to avoid this becoming a real disagreement, though. I know that she cares about me and that’s where this comes from. What it really boils down to (after all the rambling) is how much my peace of mind is worth. What is the dollar amount per month I am willing to pay just to let go of a huge amount of stress? The only stress in my life right now is being judged for my financial choices (and, a little, about what my living situation will be in September); nothing is wrong with home, work, family, or my boyfriend. I’m curious as to how much anyone reading this blog would pay to block out the biggest stressor in his/her life. If you feel like commenting about it, please do!
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Living where I do, I have to take the Dulles Toll Road commuting each day, 50 cents getting on and 75 cents getting off, for a one-way total of $1.25. I drive about 3 1/2 miles to get to Route 28, then take 28 to the toll road. On most days.
Twice this week I’ve been late enough leaving my apartment to have to take the Dulles Greenway which turns into the toll road. Before I moved out to Ashburn, I had no idea what the Greenway was, or how it was different from the toll road; I quickly learned. The Dulles Greenway is a privately-owned toll road, where a one-way trip costs $4.25, so I avoid it whenever possible, even though it is much faster. If I leave at 6:45am, I’ll only save about eight minutes by taking the 65mph Greenway; if I leave at 6:55, I generally save about 15 minutes, which is the difference between being late and not.
I noticed, though, that I got much better gas mileage this week. Normally I average between 17-19 mpg commuting, and have gotten as good as 22 mpg highway (I know it’s horrible and I’d do better without an SUV, but I HATE driving small cars). By the time I get gas this afternoon, I’ll have driven about 280 miles instead of about 225 (my gas tank is rather small; I usually don’t fill up past 14 gallons). I think that this is due in large part to my two Greenway excursions (totalling an extra $6), and one afternoon that I met up with a friend for a few hours and drove home without any traffic.
Anyway, I just saved about 3 gallons of gas at $3.59/gallon near my apartment. So, I’ve saved about $5. This wouldn’t work every week; in no way do I think that if I took the Greenway five mornings a week, I’d save five gallons of gas. Maybe I could save about 3 gallons. So if gas really skyrockets, it might become cost-effective, after all.
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Recently, I found myself saying to a co-worker, “I have to go buy groceries tonight; I don’t have anything for lunch.” I’m trying to always fix myself lunch before coming to work so that I don’t have to buy downstairs at one of the two fast food options in my building. Although one day I got to work early and bought two sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddles and they were totally worth it. SO delicious.
Yet, not something I can have habitually. Anyway, I started thinking about grocery shopping. I throw down all sorts of money everytime I go, while my pantry stays somewhat stocked with things that I never use. I have tons of uncooked spaghetti and lots of other things that I can makes meals out of for weeks, if necessary.
Therefore, I’ve decided not to shop for groceries unless absolutely necessary. I’m going to tweak “absolutely necessary” for a few items; I have one Claritin tablet left and MUST buy more, but I will get the generic kind. Some of the things that I’ll cook will require milk, eggs, and vegetable oil, all of which I’m running low on (i.e., teaspoon of v. oil, one egg, a few cups of milk). I have enough of everything else I might require for a while.
I’m curious to see how long it will take to eat all the spaghetti, rice, etc. Maybe this won’t be the most nutritious month ever (but I do have some frozen veggies!), but I’ll be able to fix that when I resume shopping–and whenever I eat at my parents’ house. I’m estimating that this will last about a month, with approximately 90 meals. I hope that this will also get me used to cooking nightly, which will then make it easier for me to plan meals, which will hopefully make it easier for me to plan my meals around sales at the grocery store.
So…as little grocery shopping as possible…starting…now!
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